I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
