And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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