hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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