Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize