Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I want to make a zoo with you.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize