Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
