what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
