for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
