Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
