U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
