theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
What happened to fro yo and sex?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
