Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
