Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
well you can't waste a boner
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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