Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
