haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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