So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
