it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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