if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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