It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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