So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
