the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
