i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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