apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Randomize
