First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
