I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
