You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
