You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize