that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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