I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
