did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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