so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
