Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
