If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
3 2 1 whiskey
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
