Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
