I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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