where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
