Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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