glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
no, he came in my armpit
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
