I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
