I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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