I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
