What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
