he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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