But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
