i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize