You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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