She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize