I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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