i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
