If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I will pee on everything he values.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
