i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
