I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
