talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize