Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
