I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
