Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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