i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
