Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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