OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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