I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
