I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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