Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
